Where I go when I dream

This morning I took eleven minutes to think about the 2,974 victims who were killed by the Sept. 11 attacks:

·         2,750 at the World Trade Center

I did not know these victims personally.  I was on the web chatting with a friend and he told me that a plane flew into the World Trade Center.  I thought it was a hoax.   Still, I turned on the TV and watched as the second plane flew into the tower.  I still get chills down my spine when I remember the visual.  I remember it too well.

·         40 in Pennsylvania(including one who was within my circle of friends) 

Nicole Miller, 21, San Jose, California, Student, West Valley College
Confirmed dead United Flight 93 - Pennsylvania, airline passenger

This was a vibrant young woman who was just embarking on her life.  On September 11, 2001, she took a plane, United Flight 93.  There are some facts and some conjecture as to what occurred but it is agreed by all that the passengers on this flight realized that their plane was planned to be used to kill other innocent people.  Rather than allow that to happen, they took the plane down in a remote area.  She had no agenda against any religion or country.  She was a friend of my boyfriend’s daughter who was the same age.

·         184 at the Pentagon.

I work for a quasi-military company.  I had a breakfast meeting that morning with a former General.  He was a proud and strong man.  When I got into work, he came into the meeting briefly just to reschedule it.  His face was white, gaunt, and there was a deep sorrow in his eyes.   Many of his friends and colleagues were at the Pentagon and at that time, there was uncertainty about everyone's fate.  He was a man of action, but no longer in the military.  Still he called the president and others, he was available to help, to do whatever needed to be done.  

I also thought about the 19 hijackers.  Why would they murder people they didn't know?  Why the women, the children.  It is so cowardly.  I wonder if the cultures are so different that their moms would be proud of the slaughter of innocents.  I don't think so. 

Here are the rules:

1) Only list 8 facts.
2) You must then list 8 TAGS at the end of the post. This means you must name 8 people on Buzznet who now must do the same blog.
3) Then go comment on their profile and tell them to come read yours!  Thank Mark for adding some extra fun.

THE LIST:

1)  I am the youngest of 4 children in my family.  This position makes me a natural negotiator for compromise.

2)  My ethnic background is a demonstration of the melting pot of America.  My family really got around, explored, and generally mixed it up.  I am German, French, English, Welsh, Cherokee, Swiss, Dutch and Swedish.  Two of my relatives became citizens of Mexico but since they are not a direct line up, I can’t quite claim Mexican as ethnicity.  I would voluntarily add Italian, Portuguese or Spanish to the mix but haven’t found the proof in the family tree yet or, the right tall, dark and handsome man to add into the bloodline.

3)  I love men’s soccer.  Why?  It could be that the athleticism is great, the strategy occasionally provocative and the fan chants stirring (and humorous).  But my love of soccer sparks from the young men who play the sport.  The men on the professional teams could easily be models for the classical gods in Greek and Roman statues.  Not only is the sport total eye candy but the men are not afraid to show passion in playing the sport.  One should always take time to enjoy life.  Viva la difference!

4)  When I was a kid:  I had a strange and not always pleasant upbringing but then most people do.  Honestly for a while, I wanted to be a nun.  It was probably the indoctrination of the school I attended.  Or, perhaps it was watching Sister Catherine slide into second base in full habit.  But in 3rd grade, I thought “nunning” would be a worthwhile career.   Okay, get off the floor!  Then I discovered mathematics and science and boys.  And I discovered nuns don't get pensions and don't get the same type of dwelling accomodations as priests.  When I was a bit older I wanted to be a marine biologist and work with Jacque Costeau, a teacher, an artist, and a business woman.  This has worked out better for me and while I am not precisely the occupations that I desired, what I do encompasses all of them.  But I wish Jacque had lived a bit longer. 

 

5)  My main degree is in forensic science.  I credit my high school chemistry teacher for that.  Most people use to find it an unusual specialty for a woman.  Now thanks to CSI shows, I no longer get raised eyebrows.

6)  I have a passion for art.  I paint, sculpt, throw pottery and sketch.  I am pretty handy with a blow torch too.  For a time, I ran my own gallery and managed other artists.  Lately I have been very creative.

 

7)  I love SCUBA and free diving.  It is my favorite sport.  It is a wonderful feeling to float and swim with giant turtles, schools of fish, otters, whales, dolphins, and other sea life.   I dive in the cold waters off California and warm tropical waters.  Once the kids are through college, I will go off on a Calipso II dive or two.

8)  I have tremendous respect for nature and find spirituality and peace in the woods or on the beach. 

I'm tagging:  Rhiwena, Scubascene, Kookychick, Goodude, TinyElvis, Geno, Raymor,and of course Wildorbit (when she visits again).

 

(My mom at Kon Tiki Inn in Pismo Beach)

 

Coming Face To Face With Mortality

 

A couple months ago, I noticed my mom seemed down and had no energy.  I asked her to set up an appointment for her to get a doctor here in Phoenix.  When she didn’t act, I did (feeling kind of pushy but too concerned to let that stop me).  She saw the doctor two weeks ago.  I also thought some beach time might do her good.

 

(mom on Pismo Beach)

 

As we were loading the truck for our trip to California, my mom told me her doctor had made an "appointment" for her and we needed to be back early.  When I called about the appointment I found out it was the Arizona Heart Institute.   Needless to say, we came back to attend the appointment last Friday. 

 

Mom and Alison at Kon Tiki Inn

 

The 7 a.m. appointment turned into a 7 to 3 appointment as the Institute did test after test last Friday.  I found out my mom has an aneurysm on her main aortic artery.  It had grown in size to 5.5 cm and could be fatal unless fixed.  If it ruptured, she would die in 8 minutes.  Dr. Edward Diethrich, the Director of the Arizona Heart Institute, told my mom he would personally do the surgeries and set the surgery date for Monday.   He said he could do his new endoscopic surgical procedure that would take care of the problem and not require she be "opened up".  He had pioneered the procedure a few years back and it had good success.  When asked what the odds were, he would only say “good”.  While my mom was having the tests done, I had used my Blackberry to research her condition and found out that the odds of living 5 years with an aneurysm this size is 0%.  He told me and my mom that he had no doubt he could “fix this”.  Knowing the odds of not fixing it, I urged her to have the procedure done.  She was scheduled for a bypass and repair of the aneurysm.

 

On Monday he did a bypass on her right carotid.  It took about 2 ½ hours.  The result was that my mom's blood pressure was back down to normal; her color was great, her mind quick and sharp.  On Tuesday Dr. Diethrich did a bypass on her left carotid and then performed the endoluminal graft over her thoracic aortic arch.  The procedures took about 7 hours.  My mom was weaker after the second surgery but still looked good.   Her sense of humor returned as she realized that she survived the surgeries.  Dr. Diethrich and his team performed all of the surgeries endoscopically working with tiny instruments and cameras through a catheter.  There will be no big scars.  Mom stayed in the recovery room for 2 days and moved to the ICU the next.  Last night she was in a regular hospital room and is expected to be out on Sunday. 

 

Mom and me in Santa Barbara

 

Just a few years ago, a bypass would have required opening up a person and had about a 50% success rate.  A double bypass and aneurysm repair would have had much worse odds of success.  I look forward to bringing my mom home and knowing that she will no longer need to take medicine for high blood pressure.  Another interesting thing about Dr. Diethrich is his use of dogs in the healing of heart patients.   He has a team of pups that visit the recuperating patients.  The animals relieve stress.  Dr. Diethrich’s new method of heart surgery is amazing.  I hope he wins a Nobel Prize. 

 

He plans to write a Journal paper on my mom.

 

Alex and Scooter on the beach

 

 

Nicole Miller, 21, San Jose, California

Student, West Valley College
Confirmed dead

United Flight 93 - Pennsylvania, airline passenger

 

 

 

It breaks my heart to remember all the victims of 9-11.  As part of  '2006: A Tribute to the Victims of 9/11', I wish to honor one in particular:  Nicole Miller.   Just think, this was a vibrant young woman who was just embarking on her life.  She had no agenda against anyone else's country or religion. 

On September 11, 2001, she took a plane, United Flight 93.  There are some facts and some conjecture as to what occurred but it is agreed by all that the passengers on this flight realized that their plane was planned to be used to kill other innocent people.  Rather than allow that to happen, they took the plane down in a remote area. 

 

The Pittsburgh, PA Post Gazette ran this story on Sunday October 28, 2001.

Passenger: Nicole Miller

 

Nicole Miller never stood still. A radiant dynamo, the 21-year-old student, with model-good looks and a smile that instantly endeared her to people, worked so hard that her mother often bugged her to rest.

 

 

 

 

Nicole Miller
Student, West Valley College, 21, San Jose, Calif.
Mother, Cathy Stefani, stepfather Wayne Stefani; father, David Miller, stepmother Catherine Miller; sister, Tiffney Miller, half-sister, Danielle Miller; half-brothers, Wayne Stefani Jr., David Miller Jr.
She was returning home after vacationing in New York and New Jersey with her boyfriend, Ryan Brown

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"She'd come home at 1 in the morning and get up at 6 o'clock," said Cathy Stefani of San Jose, Calif. "She was non-stop."

During a typical week, Miller attended classes at West Valley College, where she was a senior, taught weight training to IBM employees, waited tables at Chili's, and did promotions for a beverage distributor by manning booths and handing out fliers.

To wind down, she did two-hour workouts.

When she was younger, Miller became fascinated with flying, always gluing herself to the window when she boarded a plane. She dreamed of becoming a pilot, but bad eyesight caused her to rethink her career goals. And so Miller pursued studies in nutrition -- she favored chai lattes with soy milk, and mustard on her chicken -- and physical therapy.

In the midst of her hectic schedule, Miller made time for her boyfriend of six years, Ryan Brown. They met during a ski trip to Lake Tahoe during their junior year of high school when the somewhat tipsy Brown roved the aisle of the charter bus and bantered with friends.

While making his rounds, Brown began to fall asleep. Miller, who didn't know him, asked the football player if he wanted to sit down next to her. He did, passing out in her lap and dribbling on her leg.

She apparently didn't mind; they were an item from then on. The two became serious, talking occasionally of marriage. By the time Brown was at Marine boot camp after high school, Miller was sending letters to him with the return address "Nicole Miller-Brown."

Brown wasn't the only one smitten by Miller's vibrant demeanor. She had recently bought a new cell phone from Radio Shack. After her death, the salesman called Stefani to express his condolences. He told her that he had only known Miller for an hour, but he could sense her sweetness.

"To me, she was my little innocent girl," Stefani said. "To everyone else, she was like a movie star."

 

 

This is a poem in memory of Nicole Miller. This is written by Carrie Gordon

I'LL MEET YOU IN A DREAM

I'll be watching you from heaven
and sitting on a cloud
I'll hold up a lantern made up of flickering stars,
and call your name out loud.

I'll let the sun dry my tears
and melt away the pain.
The years will make me stronger
knowing I did not leave in vain.

When you hear the whistling wind,
it's just me singing you a tune.
When you look outside your window,
I'll make your flowers bloom.

So paint your days a beautiful picture,
let every moment glimmer and gleam.
Remember when you go to sleep at night
I'll meet you in a dream.

--Carrie Gordon

 

 

Never ever forget!

 

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This is posted for a friend who is making hard decisions right now.

Freedom
By Torre DeVito

Though life may be fleeting and fast
The present is shaped by the past.
Thus tomorrow will grow
From decisions we sow.
For our choice is the seed that we cast.

Now here's where true freedom exists:
In the space of an instant, amidst
The provocative fact
And the way we react,
In the choice that we make or resist.

Ode to California, a.k.a. I need water.

 

Ocean Ocean, You look so blue, I can see the life in you.

Down below on sides of rock, clams and mussels like to flock.

Surfing, diving, swimming, listening;

Kayaking through as waves are glistening.

 

Abalone's mini forest back, giant slug that needs a whack

I want to feel the cresting waves, go below and see the caves.

Swim with turtles, schools of fish, swim with whales and jellyfish.

 

The photo was taken at Van Damm, Mendocino county, Labor Day weekend 2002..   

 

Don't Quit

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will

When the road you're trudging seems all uphill

When the funds are low and the debts are high

And you want to smile, but you have to sigh

 

When care is pressing you down a bit

Rest, you must - but don't you quit

Life is queer with its twists and turns

As everyone of us sometimes learns

 

And many a failure turns about

When he might have won had he stuck it out

Don't give up, though the pace seems slow

You might succeed with another blow

 

Success is failure turned inside out, the silver tint of the clouds of doubt

And you never can tell how close you are, It may be near when it seems so far

So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit

It's when things seem worst, That you MUST NOT QUIT!